We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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