were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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