bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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