i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
