Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
