did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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