oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
