She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Sorry my hands just texted you
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
