Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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