D3 body, D1 cock
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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