two words: eviction party
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
they're like a gay fantastic four
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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