remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
