O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
