Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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