I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
