Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
