Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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