you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
