hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
