I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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