You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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