Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i now understand why vodka
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
