oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
