We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
