Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
