There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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