You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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