anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
