and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
