Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
