Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
