OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
