yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Did I show you my penis last night?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Sorry about my life...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
