every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
