You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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