just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
