Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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