Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she told me i tasted like america
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
