theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
