its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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