I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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