Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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