Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
