Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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