my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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