I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
