We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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