Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
