Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
