a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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