everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
In America we eat man semen.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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