seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
